Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
