Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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