The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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