I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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