So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
