I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
