Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
