She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
