idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
