i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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