that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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