It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
