he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
