he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
