I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
worst night to have a conscience
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
