dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
