dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
