hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
