I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
