There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
