can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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