Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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