saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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