dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
