I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Randomize
