Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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