HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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