i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
