My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
