We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
