Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
