I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
