he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I look better un-naked...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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