You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
