Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
