Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You need Xanax blowdarts
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
