I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
