I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
