the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
