My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
