your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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