One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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