are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
