if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
