I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
