I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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