Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
