is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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