I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
