I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
