oh god the rape fog is back!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
