Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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