im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
